Kindness.

You see shirts all over now with the saying "Be Kind." screen-printed on them, but do you think the owner and wearer actually lives by that?  We are flooded with references to kindness so much, but what is kindness to you?

This blog is fitting given I just hung up the phone rather frustrated with a credit card company and in particular, one of the representatives who was attempting to assist me in activating a staff members card.  I masquerade as the Chief Financial Officer of a local government agency in my day job (even though my hippie soul resents being chained to a desk each and everyday) and maintain all employees credit cards and ensuring they are open and active.  Today, we closed up an account which had some fraud perpetrated on it and I was activating a new card for this staff member.  The credit card company began asking me details about our accounts which I have never been asked before and I felt myself getting highly frustrated and agitated.  I felt the kindness I work so hard to show others on a daily basis begging to slip away.  I felt myself becoming rude.  I had to pause, ask the representative to give me a moment, and then I could proceed.  I was able to compose myself, activate the card and wish the representative a good day prior to hanging up.

I loathe unkindness.  No matter how upset I may become at a situation or event, unkindness will never play into a reaction.  I refuse to say hurtful things or treat others poorly even if they have hurt or harmed me.  My blog on "Hurt" deals with this issue precisely.  I refuse to join in the mocking of others for what they may be wearing, listening to or what they may be interested in.  I take the time to think about what it may mean to them and the joy it may bring them.

"Dude, that sounds pretty fake and forced if you ask me."

Not at all.  Why?  Just because I ask someone about their interest in Hobby Horsing (look it up.  Trust me, it's a thing) or their love of needlepoint, collecting old milk bottles or gold panning.  I love seeing peoples faces light up or hear the tone in their voice when they talk about something they may be passionate about.  It's the one way to get through mundane times at the office or in forced social gatherings.  We align ourselves with our "tribe" who share similar interests and passions, so when we see others who don't share those same passions, it's okay to ask them about it (even if we find it a tad odd).  I urge you to try it and see how good it makes you both feel.

Being kind to others has a semi-snowball effect.  Observing a random act of kindness can set the tone for the day for some folks.  I know for me it does.  I see a stranger at the store giving a helping hand to one of our vertically challenged peers and I smile because it makes me want to do something kind for someone else.  That little burst of kindness can be something as simple as hitting the "Add $1.00 to my grocery bill to help feed homeless".  It feels good on my end, and I hope it does on the other end as well.

Kindness, though, has a second side.  One we all too often forget.  We constantly are barraged by media and social influencers (yes, even they deserve kindness) to be kind to each other, animals, etc.  Here is the rub...

Do we extend that same kindness to ourselves?  Do we treat ourselves kindly or are we more likely to beat the tar out of ourselves mentally and emotionally for mistakes and shortcomings?  Honestly, friend.  Ask yourself that.  Are you kind to yourself in moments where you deserve it the most?  Maybe you are, maybe you aren't.  Maybe next time you drop a jar of peanut butter from the pantry on your way to the couch and it explodes everywhere robbing you the opportunity at sanity and therapeutic benefits (yes, peanut butter therapy is one of sciences greatly overlooked coping tools...), you need to simply laugh and forgive yourself rather than calling yourself a "clumsy dumbass".

Mistakes happen.  Sometimes we even repeat them over and over and over and over again.  Some may say they are choices, others may disagree.  I choose to live by the following, "We are not defined by even our worst mistakes."  

"Wow Mike, what about...."  Stop.  Just stop right there.  Yes, there are instances of mistakes being both final and fatal, but on the whole in life, most mistakes, even really bad ones are no reason to be unkind to ourselves.  We perform mental gymnastics to justify reasons why we shouldn't be kind to ourselves, but really, why?  We should be able to look ourselves in the mirror and say, "I am a worthy human being.  I am worth the love, respect and kindness I give to myself.  I am a light, I am a loving soul, a gentle person and deserve to be treated as such.  I am worthy and deserving of others kindness as well as my own."

I implore you to try that after reading this.  I urge you to say that to yourself each and everyday and especially on days where you don't "feel it".  

"Mike, are you telling me you do that for yourself?"  I don't, but I am going to start it.  I owe it to MYSELF as much as you owe it to YOURSELF.  A little gentleness to ourselves may help balance and bring peace to our own inner fears/darkness/feelings of unworthiness.  It's a start.  It's steps in the direction of self-love and kindness.  Let's start today.  

"My religion is very simple.  My religion is kindness" - His Holiness, the Dalai Lama.

You don't have to be Buddhist or the Dalai Lama to grasp that philosophy and embrace it fully, especially when it comes to practicing kindness towards ourselves.  Let's make it a goal to practice kindness towards others, to all sentient beings, as well as to ourselves as we continue on this journey of life.  We, along with others who are the recipients of our outward kindness, are worthy of that.  We all are worthy.  We all are worth it.  We all exude light.  We all have goodness inherent within us.  We are most deserving of the kindness we choose to show ourselves...

Om Mani Padme Hum.  I send blessings, light and healing to you all.  May Lung-ta, the Wind Horse, carry them, swiftly, to you and to all sentient beings throughout this earth.  

"Leave nothing but footprints, take nothing but pictures, kill nothing but time."

Namaste, friends.