Happy February to all souls out there.  As I write this, my thoughts revolve around several topics, so I will do my best to weave them all into a story which makes sense and hopefully, makes a point.  

Recently, once again, our nation was met with needless tragedy in a school.  17 lives were lost.  Teachers, staff and students alike met a fate none of us ever dream of considering when we send our children to school or observe a big, yellow school bus as it travels along the highway.  Our hearts break at the thought of families torn apart with grief and endless questions.  How does this happen?  Where did we fail this child?  What do we need to do differently in our schools, homes and communities to ensure things like this cease?  Is it gun control?  Is it stricter laws?  Is it an increase in mental health funding?  

So many questions.  So few answers.  So many tears and not enough relief.  

How does this relate to photography or anything along those lines?  Well, to me, the answer is cloudy as well.  I know that in my own right, I deal with sadness, nightmares and grief from past memories and a childhood event which still haunts me.  Creative pursuits have assisted in the balancing of those feelings which can be so strong at times.  Do I ever feel the desire to hurt someone?  Never.  But, I do, feel the sadness the most.  Impacting the mind, heart and soul of me.  Some days, the chasm within is deep, dark and consuming.  The sadness is hard to shake, so I turn inward and reflect on what could be the cause.  All too often, it is times like these where the tragic loss of life is involved.

This brings me to my own relief.  Hiking.  Poetry.  Photography.  Outdoors.  One of the largest causes of sadness occurred on St. Patrick's Day, 2015.  My dad was diagnosed with PCNS Lymphoma.  Brain Cancer.  Devastating to my soul.  This is my hero.  This is the man who I wanted to be when I was a child.  I remember the night so vividly when me, my mother and sister we sitting in that hospital room listening to the doctor tell us he had a tumor.  Tears streaked down my face, sobbing and finding it hard to catch my breath.  Soul crushed.  Heart broken.  Mind awash in grief.  

A successful surgery to resect the tumor followed by radiation and chemo and he is still in remission almost 3 years later.  My thanks goes to the men and women who treated him and in their skillful hands got him to this point.  What does this have to do with school shootings and photography?  In the aftermath of his diagnosis and subsequent treatment, I reclaimed my passion for hiking and backpacking and found a new love; photography. 

I hike for not only my father, but for me.  Every trip.  Every mile.  He is on my mind.  When the climb becomes steep or the trail becomes lost, he is there pushing me.  Sadness dissipates and a heart becomes emboldened.     

I never was at art in the classical sense or drawing, painting or sculpting, but I loved writing and now composing photos.  It keeps the sadness at bay.  It stops the nightmares and brings happiness.  It is my sanity.  Will it help everyone?  Probably not, but outdoor therapy is a wonderful respite.

Sorrow of this world melt away when my boots get laced up, my backpack finds its way onto my shoulders and my cameras shutter is happily clicking away.  Happiness.  In these moments, I am alive.  The smell of the trees, the rush of the stream and the shrill shriek of a Stellar's jay in Juniper tree nearby.  Home.  At peace.  All those feelings I wish could be imparted to folks who struggle with real depression, mania and thoughts of harming others.  

We as a society have a duty to those people.  Maybe not to cure them, but to offer them hope.  There is always hope.  Am I saying that walking in the forest will prevent school shootings or cure cancer?  No.  But I think that solace can be found there.  I think the vibration of a mountain stream, forest and gentle pull of nature can help to alleviate afflictions we all have.  Taking a camera along can help capture those moments and preserve them for times when adventuring isn't possible.  My point?  To find what makes you happy and DO IT.  Share your passion with others who may need a lift or a reason to smile again.  

Hope.  We as a society owe it to those who are suffering and to the potential victims to help others avert catastrophe.  I'm not a doctor, lawyer or psychologist, but I know how nature impacts me.  I hope in some way, this rambling has made sense and maybe even touched you.  I hope if you see someone exhibiting a cry for help, you reach out and offer hope.  

A special thanks from me, goes to my Yonder Family.  Finding that app was a huge piece of solace for me and the friends I met through it, have become family.  May all your dreams be full of adventure and the absence of sorrow.

"Leave nothing but footprints, take nothing but pictures, kill nothing but time..."

Namaste, friends.