I often find myself sitting behind the desk wondering and musing about life.  What is life?  What makes a "good" life?  What is my life purpose?  Why did my soul select this body to learn these lessons at this point?

So many times I think that we at humans are so focused on end goals in life, that we forget about what makes us truly happy.  Happiness is relative, of course, for everyone.  Some folks are happy with working 14 hours a day, earning a promotion, buying a huge home, traveling to Europe or buying expensive cars, jewelry and clothing.  Others, it's the quiet times at home with a good book, time on a hiking trail or just sitting on the patio by the beach watching the sun set over the ocean.  I do not claim to understand human beings with any degree of certainty, but as this life progresses, I marvel at how different we all are and how we should do what makes us truly happy.

You're probably thinking (or at least I hope you are by now), "What is it that makes me happy, truly?".  If you are and you are so inclined, place your thoughts into the comments to share, and then remember you did, and act on it.  Stand in front of a mirror everyday and tell yourself that you must do what makes you happy.  This isn't about the thought process that society dictates to us that striving to be happy is selfish; I believe that it's quite the opposite.  We MUST do what makes us happy, first and foremost before trying to have an impact on other humans.  

This brings me to the whole point of this months topic.  Passions and Happiness.  After two months of darker topics (and no shortage of darkness in my head and heart to share, but we will take a break from it to smile and think deeply with a smile), I think that as we move into warmer months and longer days, we think about what drives us.  What our passions are and how they influence us to be truly, happy.  

Sharing a little about the nature of myself is fitting to give you a look at who I am and what makes me, happy.  I like to refer to myself as an "Outgoing Introvert".  Someone who would rather spend a night in reading or a night out sleeping under the stars on a trail in the Sierra's.  Ask any of those people closest to me if I am a fan of humanity in general and what you will find is I am not.  This doesn't mean I despise people or humans.  I just don't like bigoted views, litterbugs, egotists, elitest thinking, braggarts, racists and celebrity worship.  Do I like excellent wine, fantastic coffee, good food and clothes by Patagonia?  Without question, I do.  I also love quiet.  I love the sound the wind makes as it roars up a canyon before hitting me in the face and taking my breath away.  I love the sound scree crunches under my feet traversing a mountain pass.  I love what I deem to be "good music", and sitting there just enjoying the beat and lyrics.  I love stimulating conversation with people I trust; like the origins of the universe, space, time and the pyramids at Giza, the existence of extraterrestrials, the Nazca Lines, and the purpose of each of us.

For the longest time I wrestled (and from time to time I still do) with what my purpose was.  As a child/teenager, my passion was swimming and competing.  The thrill of the starters pistol, the surge of adrenaline, the tunnel vision, the shortness of breath, the lactic acid fatigue and the feeling of euphoria at hitting the wall first and giving that fist pump in victory.  Those days, my mind was consumed with training almost everyday, about times and goals.  As time passed, and my body aged and began to break down slowly, the passion ebbed and faded.  

As a 20-something, I feel like I wandered aimlessly with respect to a passion.  I got back into hiking, but never went enough to truly satisfy my soul (this is a passion of mine, but not the acme).  I was a recent college graduate working at a CPA firm, grinding out hours, audits and tax returns.  Every day asking myself why I spent 4 years in school to do something which isn't really making me happy?  Why do we do it?  Maybe a different career path?  That has to be it.  Maybe if I leave my job as the Audit Manager of this CPA firm and become the Chief Business Official of a School District, I will find this magical passion in a career.  Didn't happen.  Do I like what I do now?  I do.  I love the feeling of contributing to the future of the children in my little corner of Sacramento.  I love the team I work with almost every day.  I love the passion of the principals and the friendships formed in my five years here.  But, true happiness and passion is not being behind my desk.

True passion, for me at least, lies in the creative and day dreaming state of mind.  The writer of poetry and the photographer.  The time spent looking out into the distance trying to compose an image in my mind that appeals to not only me, but those people who look at my work.  The feel of a poem after I have written it, rewritten it and then rewritten again.  The reading of it, and then stepping back and thinking, "Does this touch me?  Will it affect the reader?  Have I captured a thought, wish, dream, feeling adequately?". This passion is a driving one.  Spending my time caught up in my thoughts and its wanderings, thinking of titles, words to use, feelings to describe...  All these things will bring a smile to my face the same way a well composed image will.  The click of the shutter and then looking at the viewer screen with a sigh of "I got it...".  Or, the surprise of the editing process where as the photographer getting lost in the moment, clicking the shutter and being awed when processing the images.  

Those people exposed to my work as a poet, tend to see a "darkness" to them.  They are correct in their thinking.  I love writing about the morose and morbid nature of human thoughts.  All too often, in my opinion, positive writings are not truly honest on how our thoughts turn and how we feel at the root of our being.  Darkness exposes us in a way where we are vulnerable and exposed.  A rather unnatural place for we, as humans, to be most times.  We love comfort and safety, but by exposing sadness, regret, hurt, loss, suffering and even depression, we are forced to acknowledge and possibly reconcile with the thoughts and feelings.  I love the way composing something dark and foreboding makes the reader think.  Some people can't appreciate the darkness and the subtle nuance of the thin light of positivity contained within the darkness. 

My love of poetry was fostered by a high school teacher I did not necessarily see eye-to-eye with, but she challenged me to write and to write well and often.  I owe a debt of gratitude for establishing a passion within those awkward teenage years that has sustained me through much darkness and light.  Writing is my true passion.  The swings in mood, the love of words and how they flow.  Everything about poetry is beautiful and tells the story of a soul.  It sets my heart, mind and soul on fire.  

If you made it this far, thank you.  Thank you for taking the time and effort to read through this.  Again, this is a photography website designed to showcase images and generate business, but it is a cathartic domain as well.  I hope you take the time to reflect on your own happiness and passions and engage them more often.  To love them and make them a priority in life.  Celebrate the beauty in yourself however you describe it.  Every soul is inherently beautiful in this life and every other life it has lived and every other life it will live.  May you all find happiness, truly and fully. 

"Leave nothing but footprints, take nothing but pictures, kill nothing but time..."

Namaste, friends.