Greetings and best of wishes to everyone reading this.  We are fast approaching the end of another circle around the sun and the coming joy of the holiday season.  It is my sincerest hope that during this year, you experienced true happiness, joy and the immersion into the things which drive your soul and bring peace to your heart. 

I've been out of the "Monthly Blog Business" for a while and thought how appropriate of a time it was to jump back in and share some thoughts and things which make me smile.  As August and September approached and my heart was eagerly looking forward to spending a week of unfettered joy and bliss in the Eastern Sierra with some of my closest hiking pals, the darkness of depression and the shadow of brain cancer spread their wings of darkness over my eagerness, ending in an aborted hiking trip and the dread of a brain cancer diagnosis for another family member.  Thankfully, the tumor which I was convinced was malignant, turned out to be benign.  The darkness became a little lighter.  

During this time of darkness, I began to channel my thoughts, feelings and deepest fears and highest highs into a novel, which I have shared about in my last blog.  As it stands currently, I am just over halfway and am struggling with finding the time to write and word to fill the space with.  I've read as many articles, blogs and messageboards as I care to read on the subject of writers block and how to get past it, but those 42,000 words I sit at, can't seem to be added to at the current time.  The ideas swirl and crash into each other in my head.  Memories flood back, but I can't seem to place the words into any semblance of order.

As the darkness continued (I use the word darkness in place of depression in an effort to strip the power of the disease and focus effort on bringing light and hope into the blackness), my mind perseverated on how to heal and how to cope with missing my most favorite vacation of the year and number one way I combat the darkness within me; my Eastern Sierra hiking trip.  Mired in sadness and anger at missing this precious trip, I looked for anything to sate the feelings of dread within me.  I looked back over the summer, and year as a whole, and relived some amazing trips.  The climb up Upper Yosemite Falls with a dear friend, scaling wind swept Pyramid Peak (with another of my dearest friends and regular climbing partner) from a route unfamiliar and laden with glacial snow, arising pre-dawn to take in sunrise over the magnificent Hoodoos of Utah's Bryce Canyon National Park as well as the annual backpacking trip with my oldest daughter into the Sierra Nevada.  These memories lift the veil of the darkness.  The healing power of nature, intervened and continues to intervene.

As the weeks passed, and summer melted into the golden hues of fall, I found myself in the Sierra Nevada taking in the breathtaking Aspen trees and marveling at their radiant beauty.  I made my way into one particular grove just as the wind picked up and magic happened.  Heart shaped aspen leaves cloaked in their brilliant hues began their fall from the canopy to the leaf litter below my feet.  Turning my gaze to the tree tops, I closed my eyes and took in the moment.  Quiet, serene and majestic.  Gone were the voices of the office and daily life.  Fleeing darkness in my mind and heart as those leaves fell softly all around me.  A smile rose from my soul and cleared the clouds of chaos.  My soul became calm once again.

In the weeks which followed that magical moment amid the stunning Aspens, I found a meme which so truly describes the impact of nature on me.  One in which I continually try and impart on my children.  The picture was of a beautiful unnamed mountain peak with a trail meandering the valley below it.  Snow-capped and jutting skyward into a beautiful blue sky, the caption read "I'm going to tell my children, this is church."  It was perfect.  It is perfect.  The healing power of nature and the connected feeling to the earth and all living things.

That simple meme struck such a chord within me.  "This is church".  Yes.  Yes it is (for me, at least). 

Growing up in a Roman Catholic family and going to mass were routine.  The constant "rise, sit, kneel, rise, sit, kneel" of mass were to Sundays like eggs were to an omelette.  Before long, it all became rote.  The only time wonder ever happened for me, was stepping into a 200 year old cathedral and hearing the footsteps echo throughout the marbled walls and soaring ceilings.  Doubt crept in and replaced blind faith.  The hypocrisy of the Catholic Church failing to protect children from predators (and not just limited to the Catholic Church...) drove me away.  It's stance on so many other things, drove me away.  I found myself searching for a place which rang true.  A place where my soul felt at home.  Calm.  Peaceful.  Connected.

Nature.  My church.  My place of peace and of solace.

Nature, and especially the mountains fill that space.  Pure and spectacular.  The absence of civilization atop peaks and secluded valleys makes my soul feel at home.  Connected.  This is where I am most alive.  This for me, is church.  No worship of anything out here, just connecting to the life around and feeling the radiance of millions of years of evolution to this very moment.  Connected.  This is church.  This is my church.  People around the world have their thoughts and beliefs on what "church" is to them, and for that, I smile.  A relationship with the Divine is different and unique to each soul walking this earth.  Each of us chooses what we feel most connected to and that is a thing of beauty.  If we as an earthly civilization could strip away the hatred and eons of fighting over what is "true", a utopia of wonder and connectedness could be found.  Celebrating the beliefs of each person and sharing why they believe what they do instead of pushing belief sets and dogma would offer a harmonious place to live.  So much darkness would leave this world and allow ascension to plane of true connection with each other.  Where greeting strangers with smiles instead of caution would become the norm.  A place of wonder. 

Those of you left are likely either smiling and laughing at the rambling of this Lost Souls prose, or hopefully reflecting on what "Church" is to you.  That is the goal of this months blog.  Reflection.  Nature.  Church.  It means something different to us all.  I hope we all remember that as we move into the New Year.  Each of us is inherently different.  We are all made of different opinions on so many things.  What is church to one, is different than what church is to another.  These things should be celebrated as they make us who we are.  May all of you be filled with the joy and beginnings of a New Year and new opportunity to find what makes you whole and fill yourself with whatever brings peace to your heart.  

To each of you, I send light, love and healing peace and wish you nothing but a New Year full of happiness, joy and wonder.

Namaste, friends.

"Leave nothing but footprints, take nothing but pictures, kill nothing but time..."